Standing in the chilling October rain, knowing it will only get worse from now on. Winter is coming!

Or having to face ourselves in the glaring bathroom light, and the mirror speaks of decay. Erosion. Ageing. Midlife anxiety! Winter is coming!

There is a different way to look at this.

Here’s why autumn is my favourite time of the year – and in life.

So, c’mon – tell me why?

All right, I’ll admit it. Autumn has always been my favourite season. But I’ve just started to understand why.

Of course, it’s partly about the weather. Not too hot, not too cold. And the colours! Ah, the early morning walks in the crisp, cool air, the red and yellow leaves squashing like cornflakes under my feet.

But there is more to it. If summer is lost and gone, why do I feel free, like I can finally breathe again? Why have I entered what feels like my season of opportunity?

Let’s first examine what’s lost and gone.

Truth #1: The illusion of the golden summer

Summer comes with loads of expectations. There are so many things we are expected to do – and we should better like them too! For instance:

• Mediterranean beach holidays, even if we can’t stand the heat (it’s also straining our budgets too much).
• Barbeque parties, even if we don’t like eating a large heap of charcoal-tasting or half-raw meat.
• Swimming, even if we’re afraid of the water.
• Staying at our parents-in-law’s house for a week, even if we desperately need some privacy.

Everything’s out of routine. If we have young children, they must be looked after and entertained while school’s out. And for ourselves, we must build that terrace or paint the kitchen now that we finally have the time.

And our dream all last winter was just to read lovely books or sit with our fishing rods, watching the sunset…

Autumn comes, and life gets back on track again. What’s lost is mostly the shackles of expectations. So, our season of opportunity has started if we’re willing to seize it.

Wait a minute. Isn’t this also true for midlife – our autumn in life?

Truth #2: The battle of being young

In our culture, being young is the thing to be. That’s when the world lies at our feet, and everything’s possible.

Really?

Sometimes, our recollections of our childhoods and youths are somewhat selective, and the collective illusion of a ‘golden age’ can be challenging to look past.

My memory is quite good. It may be a curse or a blessing (I lean towards the latter). And I remember:

• Having to deal with constantly tight finances.
• The anxiety of figuring out who I was and my direction in life.
• The struggle to navigate peer pressure and society’s norms while defending personal boundaries and integrity.
• Swimming in the quicksand of low self-confidence and self-esteem.

However, they say all things must pass. Time certainly does. It was time to grow up.

Truth #3: The trials of young adulthood

School was out forever—for some of us early, for others later, after some blissfully careless and irresponsible years at university. We got jobs and entered into relationships; for many, it was time for children—a cuddly period.

Still, I remember:

• A well-developed imposter syndrome at every job interview, fearing to be disclosed as a sham any moment.
• Worrying about putting children into an uncertain world and whether I could look after them.
• Doubting I had made the right choices concerning education and career.
• Never having time enough for anything, least of all the things I wanted to do for myself.

And the finances were tighter than ever, now burdened by student loans, mortgages, and nursery fees. Stealthily, life changed from a discovery journey into a never-ending fast-track of habits and schedules.

It’s time to ask: Was the summer now gone, and were our younger years really unquestionably ‘golden’?

And our regrets about the coming winter or our older years: Do we really mourn something we have lost? Or do we mourn the things we never got around to?

If so, why not make them happen now?

Doubt #1: It’s not possible to do what I wanted anymore

Of course, some doors are closed for us now.

45 years ago, I wanted to be a cross-country skiing world champion. They were the most celebrated sports stars in my country of birth, Norway. And I definitely wanted to be a rock star, a guitar riff master like Tony Iommi or a heavenly blessed singer like Freddie Mercury.

This didn’t come to pass.

Neither was it something I needed. The commitment, sacrifices, and public exposure required to be a top athlete on the ski tracks or the rock scene would have done me more harm than good.

There is a difference between what we want and what we need.

Being equipped to see that difference comes with age and experience. This makes the essential things visible to us.

Doubt #2: Why bother? I’m too old now!

No, you’re not.

It’s never too late to find and reinvent meaning and purpose, to do something about things we’ve been missing in life, to become the person we wish we were before.

I never made it past school championships in cross-country skiing. However, I can still exercise and keep myself in good enough physical shape to do the things I wish I had time to do earlier.

And my rock-star dream? Well, I will probably never perform for more than a handful of moderately interested people.

But along the road, I discovered my true passion: creating. I started writing songs. It matters little how big the audience is or if there is an audience at all. As it turned out, what really gives me joy is to bring something to life that never existed before by putting words and music together.

And never were the opportunities for this better than now.

Truth #4: The swingin’ sixties!

Think about it: If you are at approximately the same stage in life as me, doesn’t this ring somewhat true:

• The finances are in a more comfortable state than ever.
• There is more time. Perhaps you have retired already. If not, you might not have to run the work treadmill as fervently as you did earlier.
• The children (if you have any) are well on their way to establishing their own lives.
• You have the advantage of experience. You have learned from earlier mistakes and are better equipped to do the right things—the right stuff for you, the things you need.

So, what are we waiting for?

Doubt #3 to infinity: Yeah, but what about…

Oh, our brains will always whisper something like, “Wait a minute! What about…!”. Let me guess.

Habits are hard to break

True, and we have allowed our habits to grow strong for decades now. Remember, doing things automatically, repeatedly, and for a long time doesn’t necessarily make them right. 

Other people’s expectations

“For God’s sake, this is not appropriate (or expected, or popular, or perhaps it’s just not normal ) for a person your age.”

Fear of pain

All change worth making comes with some physical or emotional pain. Sadly, we often choose a lifetime of discomfort or even misery instead of the short, sharp pain of change.

Fear of being accused of being selfish

It’s not always about what others might say, is it? Often, it’s this voice in our own brain saying, “You don’t deserve any better” or “Others (your partner, children, parents, colleagues) deserve it more than me.”

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not advocating egoism or hedonism. Not at all. But why, oh why, shouldn’t you deserve to thrive just as much as anyone else. And when you thrive, won’t you have so much more to give to others?

I’ll throw in one last truth in case you’re still not convinced:

Truth #5: Our days are numbered

My apologies if you’re finding this one a bit morbid. Sometimes, it’s not easy to be reminded of our mortality.

When I was young, I could choose the path of least resistance at every crossroads. If any of those paths weren’t quite right, I could always deal with it later. I believed I had all the time in the world and could afford to be complacent (or lazy), conflict-avoidant, and risk-avoidant.

I don’t have all the time in the world now. In fact, none of us ever had all the time in the world. And I personally find this truth highly motivating and liberating.

It’s motivating because I want every single day to be meaningful now. It’s liberating because I have compelling reasons to put down the baggage and clutter (physically and metaphorically) I don’t need anymore and focus on what’s important.

This is why autumn is the season of opportunity

And my favourite season of the year and in life.

As they say, this is the first day of the rest of my life. And in yours, too. 

Make it count.