Anxiety and depression: The danger of quick-and-easy-fix advice

I know I’m ranting about the Simplicity Prophets again and again in my Anxiety and depression articles. For instance, here:

(Featured image: Simplicity prophets. AI-generated illustration.)

Who are these ‘simplicity prophets’, then?

It’s just an expression I’ve made up to describe people who stubbornly claim they have a simple solution that will solve a complex problem for everyone.

Most of us who suffer or have suffered from anxiety or depression have certainly met a lot of them. Among our friends and colleagues, in our families, in commercial adverts, everywhere.

How do we recognise the simplicity prophets? They often start their sentences with “Can’t you just…”.

Why does it matter?

It matters because anxiety and depression are problems that rarely have a quick-and-easy, one-size-fits-all solution. They are wounds in our minds, and the human mind is an advanced and complicated matter.

The bone in my upper arm is pretty much identical to the bone in the upper arm of other people (and even other mammals). If I fall off my bike and break this bone, the cure will be exactly like most other upper arm fracture cures: put on a plaster cast and wait until the bone is healed.

However, my mind isn’t exactly like yours or any other human mind. My mind is shaped by the genes I’m born with, the cultures I’ve lived in, and every single positive and negative personal experience I’ve had throughout my life. This is different from your genes, the cultures you’ve lived in, and, of course, all your personal experiences.

If both of us carry wounds on our minds, such as anxiety or depression, we might have them for entirely different reasons. And we may need altogether different measures to heal. A wound on the mind is rarely a clean, straightforward breakage as most upper arm fractures are. However, that’s what the simplicity prophets presume.

But they surely have the best intentions!

Sometimes, that’s true.

If you talk to your lovely Aunt Edna about your anxiety or depression, and she says, “I think you just need to get out of the house more often, pet,” it’s hardly because she wants to hurt you or take advantage of you.

The problem is, Aunt Edna has never suffered a paralysing depression or the inferno of extreme social anxiety. She’s a true extravert herself. If she feels low, meeting her friends instantly makes her feel better. There’s no way she can understand that for you, right now, it would feel like being skinned alive.

Yes, Aunt Edna has the best of intentions. She would never want to harm you. But, unknowingly, she is a simplicity prophet.

The ones who want to shut you up

On the other hand, your frank friend Theresa’s intentions aren’t quite as pure as Aunt Edna’s. She asks if you’re ok, and when you tell her you’re not, her response is:

“God, you’re always such a drama queen! Why can’t you just think more positively?”

The reason why Theresa suggests a quick-and-easy solution is simple: she wants to shut you up. When Theresa (and most others) asks, “Are you ok?” or “How are you?”, it’s just a phrase of politeness, a way to start the small talk. She (and most others) doesn’t really want to know how you are. You’re supposed to say, “I’m ok, how are you?”

Theresa feels she has enough to handle in her own life. Perhaps she has baby twins and a toddler, a crap job, and a husband who prioritises football over family. She doesn’t need your problems on top of all this.

Other simplicity prophets act exactly like Theresa, but for different reasons. Some people have no empathy whatsoever and will quickly fob you off with simple solutions because they don’t have the interest and patience to listen to you.

The crusaders

You and your colleague Pete have worked together for five years now, and he can see you’re not feeling well these days. When you tell him about your anxiety, he instantly knows the right solution for you!

When Pete worked too much and hit the wall ten years ago, he went to a meditation retreat that worked wonders for him. Of course, you knew that Pete is an eager meditator. He is a trained meditation coach now and often hands out mindfulness leaflets at work.

He keeps nagging you about attending a retreat next month, where you will meditate for 12 hours daily throughout the weekend. You, who can’t bear to be inside the chaos of your mind for even two minutes right now!

Pete has found his mission in life, but he cannot see that what helped him in that particular situation ten years ago might not be right for everyone in every situation, let alone for you right now.

The traders

No doubt, if you want to sell something, your message must be as simple and punchy as possible. How about:

Quote format:

“The One Thing They’ll Never Tell You That Will Cure Your Anxiety Instantly.”

“The Simple Trick That Will Kill Your Depression And Give You Eternal Happiness.”

Normal format:

These are made-up and slightly (but only slightly) exaggerated examples, but you know what I mean. You have seen them. And they do tend to capitalise every word in their headlines, right? 🙂

Mental health challenges affect a significant percentage of the population in most countries. For instance, Mind has reported that 8 out of 100 Englishmen and -women suffer from mixed anxiety and depression in any given week. Calculating people see this as a potential market, of course. It’s sad and annoying that some people use the suffering of others to earn money by selling simple solutions that do not live up to their promises.

I find it most annoying when simple (and most likely ineffective) solutions are sold by secretly blameshaming people who already suffer. Do you remember all the hype about the Law of Attraction, for instance, the book The Secret by Rhonda Byrne? Basically, the ‘law’ of attraction says that your thoughts will shape your reality. What you focus on will happen. If you think positively and want something enough, you will get it!

What if we turn this around? Let’s say you suffer from anxiety or depression and don’t get better. Well, according to the ‘law’, you probably don’t want it enough. You don’t want to get better; it’s your fault! This is obviously blameshaming, but it might sell more books, seminars, and courses, of course.

The problem with the simplicity prophets…

… is that they aren’t always entirely in the wrong. Most of them are actually onto something. The problem is that they pick up one or a few things that might contribute to your healing and present it as the One thing that will fix everything, and even fix it easily and quickly (especially if you pay them to learn about it).

For people desperate to find a way to heal their anxiety or depression and sometimes even spend a lot of money on things they hope will help, the disappointment of the inevitable failure can feel devastating. For some, this may feel like the last straw that slips away.

For most of us, the process of getting better requires many different ingredients, for instance:

• Doing things that create engagement and positive emotions in us, which isn’t the same as just deciding to think positively.
• Cultivating positive relationships, which isn’t necessarily the same as just ‘getting out of the house’.
• Exercising, eating sensibly, and generally looking after our physical condition.
• Gently cleaning up in the cupboards of our minds and getting rid of all the baggage we don’t need.

I sometimes compare this with doing a jigsaw puzzle. The simplicity prophets pick up one of the pieces and enthusiastically proclaim, “This is it!” But in reality, we need the patience to find all the pieces and the places to put each down.

Then, and only then, is the final solution found.